Note: Scroll to the bottom for the complete list of Ashley Madison users by city, based on the number people that had accounts, per capita.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the skankiest Maryland city of them all?
We all know some real skanks. They’re the people on Facebook posting pictures of their tramp stamps, telling everyone about their baby daddy drama, and the types who you know are at the strip clubs once a month.
And those who cheat on their spouses.
Wait. What is the official definition of a skank anyways? Well, according to the internet, a skank is defined as:
A sleazy, nasty person who sleeps around.
Using that criteria, it’s not hard to scrape the internet, run some scientific data on where the most members of the Maryland skank family tree most likely live. Most of these places probably won’t surprise you.
Because, the data never lies, does it?
After analyzing all cities with a decent amount of people in them, we came up with this list as The Skankiest Cities in Maryland:
- Bel Air
- Ocean City
- College Park
Read on below to see where your town ranked.
What skanky criteria did we use?
In order to rank the skankiest cities in Maryland, we had to determine what criteria makes a skank.
We threw a lot of criteria at this one in order to get the best, most complete results possible. Using Yelp, Twitter, and a scrape of Ashley Madison hacked accounts, this is the criteria we used:
- Number of strip clubs per city
- Number of adult bookstores and XXX stores per city
- Number of Planned Parenthood clinics per city
- Number of tattoo shops per city
- Number of users in the city registered on Ashley Madison
For geo-located tweets, we measured the following raw number of tweets that came from within a city’s general area: #skank
Note: Ashley Madison is a website where people create accounts in an attempt to meet someone to cheat on their spouses. Recently, hackers released the names and addresses of all 34 million users to the public.
Sex stores per capita: 2nd in Maryland
Planned Parenthoods: 2nd
Ashley Madison users: 3rd most
Wow, Annapolis. You guys really skank it up, don’t you? We can tell that you guys like to get naughty every now and then. Perhaps a little more than anyone else in the rest of Maryland?
First off, you guys have the 3rd highest number of Ashley Madison users. A whopping 7.5% of the population of Annapolis has registered an account. So you guys are obviously curious about cheating on your spouses.
There are also quite a few places in Annapolis where you can get your sexy toys and books. And when you consider that there are two Planned Parenthoods in Annapolis, that means there must be lots of teenagers getting pregnant.
There weren’t many skank-related Tweets coming from Annapolis But this one was a gem:
“Downtown Annapolis is where my inner little skank comes out”
Add it all up, and Annapolis is really, really skanky.
Sex stores per capita: 5th in Maryland
Planned Parenthoods: 14th
Ashley Madison users: 10th most
Hey no one said that skanky towns are always poor places. In fact, most of the time, the kinkiest, sluttiest places are the ones with the most money. Don’t you watch reality TV?
Here in Bethesda, the affluent snobs really like to check out their adult entertainment. While they don’t have a strip club in town, there are many places to get their kinky, skanky toys and clothes nearby.
And, you may or may not be surprised to hear that 6.5% of the Bethesda population set up an Ashley Madison account. Because the rich feel entitled to do whatever they want, including having an affair.
Sex stores per capita: 8th
Planned Parenthoods: 14th
Ashley Madison users: 5.6%
Okay, so we all know that Bmore is just crawling with skanks. And most of you are probably surprised that Baltimore isn’t at the top of this list. While there are probably more skanks in Baltimore than in any other city, remember, we look at it per population.
Meaning there are thousands of skanks here, but hundreds of thousands of non-skanky people.
Baltimore has more than 30 tattoo shops, a dozen or so adult bookstores/toy shops, and 10 strip clubs (or gentlemen’s clubs, as they call themselves.)
As you might expect, Baltimore led the way with the number of skank Tweets. Including a lot of people calling the mayor of Baltimore a skank?
Surprisingly, only 5.6% of Baltimore created Ashley Madison accounts. Is cheating on your spouse in secrecy a thing that mostly rich people do?
4. Bel Air
Sex stores per capita in the area: 3rd in Maryland
Tattoo shops: 15th per capita
Ashley Madison users: 22nd most
About 45 minutes north of Baltimore is a sneakily skanky town, Bel Air. In the area, they have the 3rd most sex-related stores in Maryland, and the 15th most tattoo shops in the state.
And, more than 5% of the population had some sort of cheating on their minds recently, as there were hundreds of Ashley Madison accounts with Bel Air addresses associated with them.
We’re not judging you guys. In fact, being a closet skank is so…thrilling. We bet you guys like to read the 50 Shades of Grey books, too.
5. Ocean City
Sex stores per capita: 1st in Maryland
Strip clubs: 2nd in Maryland
Ashley Madison users: 7%
Damn you Ocean City skanks! You guys really like to get down with it. We understand that much of the skankiness comes from the nasty-minded tourists that plow into town every year. But many of you have been curiously searching out an affair online.
So don’t blame it all on the tourists. Someone once called the Ocean City boardwalk the home of the skank.
There weren’t too many skank related Tweets coming from Ocean City, surprisingly. But these two are hilarious:
“Is it skank week? Do they dress like that when they’re not in ocean city?”
“Beach day tomorrow and then spending next weekend with my favorite skank down in Ocean City”
Tattoo rank: 2nd in Maryland
Ashley Madison users: 7.3%
Edgewood is a quiet, middle class area north of Baltimore, right along the coast. They excel in tattoos here, apparently. Meaning there are probably lots of tramp stamps in the area.
Sometimes, quiet and middle class means by the book morals. Not so here. More than 7% of the population skanked it up on Ashley Madison.
Men can be such skanks.
Strip club ranking: 8th in MD
Planned Parenthoods: 15th in MD
Most of the people in Waldorf are just your average citizens. They go to work, come home and hang out with the kids. But, there are many people here who go to the strip clubs, sport their tattoos and cheat on their spouses.
You can probably spot them a mile away. They’re dressed pretty slutty, showing off their newest tats, looking for a reason to go home with someone new every night.
If you wanna see ‘em, hang out at the Spice Lounge pretty much any night of the week. Or just drive by and watch the show unfold in front of you.
Planned Parenthoods: 2nd most in MD
Potential cheaters: 6.4%
Sounds like lots of little teenage skanks live in the Frederick area. Because they only put Planned Parenthoods in areas where they’re needed.
And the adults here are skankin it up, too. More than 6% of the residents in Frederick signed up with Ashley Madison accounts. So, sounds like some parents who are probably disappointed in their promiscuous kids need to take their own advice.
9. College Park
Sex stores per capita: 14th
Cheaters: The most in Maryland
Most would agree that college towns can be a little skanky. Lots of us skanked it up when we were in school. It’s almost like if you didn’t have a little bit of skank in ya, you were lonely and bored.
But it’s the professional adults in College Park who take the cake on this one. A whopping 8.8% of the residents here were interested in knowing more about cheating on their spouses. What’s going on in College Park, anyways?
XXX stores per capita: 4th in Maryland
Just the name of the town sounds skanky.
They’ve got quite a few places to get your XXX fix on here, and a few places to get tatted up as well. And, odds are that someone you know, work with or live by has registered an Ashley Madison account.
Remember, there are lots of skanks in regular clothing.
There You Have It
If you’re analyzing cities in Maryland where people cheat on their spouses, where people have lots of options for adult-themed entertainment, and where people talk about skanks on Twitter, this is an accurate list.
We also wrote a story on the worst places to live in Maryland if you haven’t seen it yet. Click here to read it.
Here’s the full cart on all of the Maryland Ashley Madison account list, by population of the city that had accounts.
|City||% with accounts||Rank|
|Fort George G Meade, MD||13.01%||1|
|College Park, MD||8.83%||2|
|Linthicum Heights, MD||7.45%||6|
|Ocean City, MD||7.09%||10|
|Lexington Park, MD||6.88%||11|
|Owings Mills, MD||6.13%||18|
|Bel Air, MD||5.43%||27|
|Great Mills, MD||5.34%||30|
|Oxon Hill, MD||5.14%||33|
|Curtis Bay, MD||5.13%||34|
|North East, MD||5.06%||38|
|Glen Burnie, MD||5.01%||41|
|Prince Frederick, MD||4.98%||43|
|Chesapeake Beach, MD||4.96%||44|
|Middle River, MD||4.93%||46|
|Windsor Mill, MD||4.80%||48|
|Forest Hill, MD||4.63%||53|
|La Plata, MD||4.40%||59|
|Chevy Chase, MD||4.36%||60|
|New Market, MD||4.33%||62|
|Ellicott City, MD||4.25%||69|
|Havre De Grace, MD||4.21%||72|
|Indian Head, MD||4.10%||79|
|Silver Spring, MD||4.10%||80|
|Lutherville Timonium, MD||4.08%||81|
|Rising Sun, MD||4.01%||84|
|White Plains, MD||3.95%||86|
|Upper Marlboro, MD||3.92%||87|
|Mount Airy, MD||3.85%||91|
|Montgomery Village, MD||3.83%||93|
|Severna Park, MD||3.63%||104|
|Saint Leonard, MD||3.51%||109|
|Fort Washington, MD||3.51%||110|
|Sparrows Point, MD||3.48%||112|
|Perry Hall, MD||3.37%||117|
|Mount Rainier, MD||3.36%||118|
|Takoma Park, MD||3.32%||121|
|Capitol Heights, MD||3.32%||122|
|Temple Hills, MD||3.27%||125|
|Gwynn Oak, MD||3.21%||128|
|Princess Anne, MD||3.16%||130|
|Port Deposit, MD||3.15%||131|
|Glenn Dale, MD||3.07%||133|
|District Heights, MD||3.02%||135|
|Pocomoke City, MD||2.81%||140|
|New Windsor, MD||2.78%||143|
|White Hall, MD||2.42%||151|
|Clear Spring, MD||1.49%||157|