These Are The 10 Trashiest Cities In Kansas

This article is an opinion based on facts and is meant as infotainment. Don’t freak out.

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Do you know anyone whom you’d refer to as Trashy? Most likely. Either there’s someone at your job, in your neighborhood, or in your family that you’d throw that label on.

Essentially, Trashy is everywhere.

While calling someone Trashy might be a mean-spirited way of ridiculing or poking fun at a particular demographic, it can also serve as a way to express disdain about the way someone lives their life. It isn’t as derogatory as using other racial slurs, and in fact, the term has a bit of humor associated with it, making it the focus of pop culture.

Take for instance Jerry Springer, Honey Boo Boo, Kid Rock, Eminem, Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite and even Cousin Eddie in National Lampoon movies.

According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, trashy is defined as:

“A term used broadly to define a person or group of persons whom embody the concepts of ignorance, racism, violence, alcoholism, poverty, and anglo-saxon ancestry. Similarly used with the term ‘cracker,’ ‘hillbilly’ or ‘redneck’.”

So, using some data crunching, we should be able to measure where the most Trashy communities in the state of Kansas are actually located.

After pouring over data, watching too many fist fights and perusing illiterate Facebook comments, we’ve determined these are the most Trashy cities in Kansas:

Time to take some meth and stay up all night with us as we go through the cities one by one. And before you say we’re some kind of reverse racist, you can also check out the most Ghetto city in Kansas.

For more reading, check out:

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How we determined the most trashy cities in Kansas?

Using publicly available government data, as well as Google Maps, we were able to collect the data on the following trashy metrics:

Cities where there are lots of white people
Cities where residents are poorer than average
Cities where a high number of residents are high school dropouts
High drug use
Higher than average Payday Loan Outlets
Violent cities (measured in aggravated assaults)
Cities with a high number of residents on welfare

These Are The 10 Most Affordable Places In Kansas

We used the government Census for most of the data. For drug use and violence, we used FBI data, and for Cash Advance Outlets, we used Google Maps.

Simple, right?
We limited the analysis to non-CDPs that have over 5,000 people.
Then, we ranked each place from 1 to 45 for each of the trashy criteria.

Next, then averaged all the ranks to create a “trashy index”.

In the end, Fort Scott ended up being the the most trashy city in the Sunflower State.

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1. Fort Scott

Population: 8,196
Estimated Trashy: 2,367
Welfare population: 20%
Payday Loan Outlets: 8

Toss back a Budweiser, and suck down another Camel, Fort Scott, cause you’re the whitest trash of all in Kansas.

Many of the folks in Fort Scott smell of cheap cigarettes; and if you grew up in Fort Scott, there’s a decent chance you are some variation of Trashy.

Fort Scott ranks in the top 10% for several categories, including the number of residents on welfare, the most amount of high school dropouts, as well as a high number of payday loans per capita.

The meth problem is so bad here that they have created a ‘Meth Watch’. The people on meth watch the people on meth because they have nothing better to do with their day.

Don’t laugh, Pittsburg. You weren’t too far out of the top 10 yourself.

2. Great Bend

Source: Wikipedia User Brandonrush | CC BY-SA 3.0

Population: 15,436
Estimated Trashy: 4,999
Welfare population: 22%

Great Bend is located right smack dab in the middle of Kansas. When it comes to defining proper Trashy etiquette in this town, always remember the cardinal rule: You need to be careful what you say in Great Bend because someone might come over and pop the wheels on your house. Or was it, you mess with me, you mess with the whole trailer park? So confusing. That’s what happens when you try livin’ the GB Way: 24 beer cans, 24 hours in a day. Genius.

The GB ranks in the top 5 for three separate trashy metrics, including a number of aggravated assaults, and for poor, white single mothers on welfare.

This small city in Barton County is located at the point in the Arkansas River that bends East then Southeast. And, according to online forums, Great Bend has a major drug problem. Even the Arkansas river rats are doing heroin, here. Trashy river rats? That should be a reality show for sure!

3. Parsons

Source: Wikipedia User Paul Sableman | CC BY 2.0

Population: 10,949
Estimated Trashy: 3,283
High school dropouts: 17%

Parsons comes in third followed by a smoky, meth-filled, haze. This number doesn’t reflect the high number of mullets (is it a mullet, a perm, or merm, Parsons?), shag haircuts, bangs teased out like it’s 1990, and the number of people who wear pajamas to Walmart.

Parson’s population is as close to 100% white as you can possibly get. If you live here, and you are white, you’re most likely making wind chimes out of beer cans.

Here, if they don’t have ‘Mountain Dew’ Mouth (Meth Mouth) they’re not doing it right. If P-town’s peeps weren’t spending so much on meth, the dentists in this place would be making a fortune.

4. Arkansas City

Source: Wikipedia User Photo by Michae | CC BY-SA 2.5

Population: 12,415
Estimated Trashy: 4,979
Payday Loan Outlets: 4
Assaults ranking: 5th in KS

Chances are, if you and your kid(s) moved in with someone after just two dates, than you might be from Arkansas City.

This city ranks fifth in the state for aggravated assaults (meaning drunken fist fights). And in pure trashy form, when it comes to fightin’ over that week’s favorite meth slut, you better believe it will be handled bare knuckle to bare knuckle in your trailer’s front yard.

Is that heroin, meth, or snow in the 620? Fair question Ark City. Cowley County could use a hug.

#HugsNotDrugs

5. Iola

Source: Wikipedia User Jeffrey Beall | CC BY 3.0

Population: 5,691
Estimated Trashy: 1,225
Assaults: 7th for small cities in KS
Payday Loan Outlets: 2

Iola is located pretty much in the middle of nowhere, Kansas. It is the third city on our list from the SEK.

Iola ranks in the top 5 for three separate trashy metrics, including number of aggravated assaults and for poor, white single mothers on welfare.

Here they have their own set of trashy problems. According to online forums, they truly do whatever they want in this town. If you live here, there’s a good chance you’re makin’ meth. Meth-related arrests are on the rise in this ‘little piece of heaven’. Huffin’ ain’t easy people.

6. Wichita

Source: Wikipedia User Gordon Huggins | CC BY 2.0

Population: 328,699
Estimated Trashy: 110,342.5
Welfare population: 25%

Located at the crossroads of the 135 and the 235 is Wichita, Kansas. It is the largest city on our list.

Cowtown is also definitely one of the “whitest cities” on our list. The number of drug-related crimes and aggravated assaults, combined with the high number of poor dropouts, makes this trashy central for Sedgwik County.

Is that Ricky Bobby’s kid? Fair question, Wichita. They have the most black and white checkered flags in ‘Kansas-land’ with 4 tracks located close by. But, don’t get your boxers in a bunch, we know the three things you don’t mess with in trashy land: racin’, drinkin’, and makin’ meth.

And if you live in ‘The Ta’, there’s a good chance you ain’t racin’, you’re makin’ meth. Huffin’ ain’t easy people.

Word on the street, it’s the best place to get your fix in the 316.

7. Dodge City

Source: Public domain

Population: 27,812
Estimated Trashy: 13,953
Drug use: 11th in KS for cities below 40,000
Payday Loan Outlets: 3

Next, is Dodge City. Here there a large number of people who live on disability, or work at one of the 20 or so Dollar Stores in the area. Just because you shop at the local dollar stores does not make you ‘country chic,’ Dodge City, it makes you Trashy.

And a lot of your trash must be getting into fist fights at your local dollar store when it’s 50% off day, because you’re 3rd for aggravated assaults.

That’s right, in Dodge City, they fight over the lawn mower; they fight over what beer is better (Busch or Natural Light); they fight over who has more teeth; and of course, they fight over where the best meth is made. They just have a real chip on their shoulders.

Simmer down, Dodge Shitty. #NoShoesNoShirtNoTeethNoProblem

8. Topeka

Source: Public domain

Population: 233,517
Estimated Trashy: 95,675
Deadbeat dads: 7%

According to online forums, T-Town is filled with slums and meth head Jayhawk fans. Hey don’t shoot the messenger!

You know you’re from Jayhawk country when you send your best friend to the liquor store and he calls 30 minutes later to tell you he’s going to be a little late cuz he got his mullet caught in the fan blade of his ‘79 Camaro.

#YouAlmostFeltTheWindInYourMullet

And if you’re a dead-beat dad named Rick who snorts Tylenol (because he can’t afford adderall), and you moved to Lawrence with your sister’s best friend, you might be from Topeka.

9. Hutchinson

Source: Wikipedia User Dylan Edwards K | CC BY 3.0

Population: 42,437
Estimated Trashy: 14,444
Assaults: 5th in KS
Drug use: 11th in KS

Nothin’ says trashy like a good ‘ol ass whoopin at a Walmart. You just might see that in Hutchinson on the first of the month every now and then.

In fact, Hutchinson was home to the infamous trashy Walmart fight between the woman in the jammies and the other woman in the jammies. Maybe they should fight at their local dollar store so they won’t feel like they have to dress up.

And word on the street, they are down with O.P.P. (other people’s pills). They are 11th in the state for drug use.

Hey R-County, stay classy and keep it Trashyy. Otherwise we won’t have anything to write about.

10. El Dorado

Source: Wikipedia User Hellbus | CC BY-SA 3.0

Population: 13,904
Estimated Trashy: 3,204
Welfare population: 17%

Rounding out the list of the ten most Trashy cities in Kansas brings us to El Dorado. This is where the high class trashy live. You think you’re ‘all that’ with two Dollar Stores and a Walmart to wear your pajamas, swimsuits, and wife beaters to.

El Dorado has a high number of single white moms with more than one kid. More babies = more $$. It’s all fun and games until somebody gets PG.

Obviously, Boom Town, is home to the high class trashy. It‘s a lifestyle, here. It’s not everyday that you become the home of the ‘Meth-Sandwich’ and ‘Black Tar Heroin.’

There You Have It

According to the official dictionary definition of Trashy, and based on stereotypes that the internet says are true, using science to determine the most Trashy cities in a state can’t be too far off.

If you’re analyzing cities in Kansas with lots of angry welfare recipients, single mothers and where people have lots of options for payday cash loans, this is an accurate list.

If you’re curious enough, here are the least trashy places in Kansas:

Bel Aire
Leawood
Prairie Village

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