Do you know anyone whom you’d refer to as White trash? Most likely. Either there’s someone at your job, in your neighborhood, or in your family that you’d throw that label on.
Essentially, White trash is everywhere.
While calling someone White trash might be a mean-spirited way of ridiculing or poking fun at a particular demographic, it can also serve as a way to express disdain about the way someone lives their life. It isn’t as derogatory as using other racial slurs, and in fact, the term has a bit of humor associated with it, making it the focus of pop culture.
Take for instance Jerry Springer, Honey Boo Boo, Kid Rock, Eminem, Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite and even Cousin Eddie in National Lampoon movies.
According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, white trash is defined as:
“A term used broadly to define a person or group of persons whom embody the concepts of ignorance, racism, violence, alcoholism, poverty, and anglo-saxon ancestry. Similarly used with the term ‘cracker,’ ‘hillbilly’ or ‘redneck’.”
So, using some data crunching, we should be able to measure where the most White trash communities in the state of Illinois are actually located.
After pouring over data, watching too many fist fights and perusing illiterate Facebook comments, we’ve determined these are the most White trash cities in Illinois:
- West Frankfort
- East Alton
- Johnston City
Time to take some meth and stay up all night with us as we go through the cities one by one. And before you say we’re some kind of reverse racist, you can also check out the most Ghetto city in Illinois.
How we determined the most white trash cities in Illinois?
Using publicly available government data, as well as Google Maps, we were able to collect the data on the following white trash metrics:
- Cities where there are lots of white people
- Cities where residents are poorer than average
- Cities where a high number of residents are high school dropouts
- High drug use
- Higher than average Payday Loan Outlets
- Violent cities (measured in aggravated assaults)
- Cities with a high number of residents on welfare
We used the government Census for most of the data. For drug use and violence, we used FBI data, and for Cash Advance Outlets, we used Google Maps.
We limited the analysis to non-CDPs that have over 5,000 people.
Then, we ranked each place from 1 to 252 for each of the white trash criteria.
Next, then averaged all the ranks to create a “white trash index”.
In the end, West Frankfort ended up being the the most white trash city in the Land of Lincoln–Lincoln’s probably drinkin’ right about now….#HandHimABuschLIght.
1. West Frankfort
Estimated White trash: 7,983
Welfare population: 20%
Payday Loan Outlets: 8
Toss back a Budweiser, and suck down another Camel, West Frankfort (AKA: West Skankfort), cause you’re the whitest trash of all in Illinois.
Many of the folks in West Frankfort smell of cheap cigarettes, and if you grew up in West Frankfort, there’s a decent chance you made a cameo in the movie: Poor White Trash, which was actually filmed in West Frankfort. We can’t make this stuff up people.
West Frankfort ranks in the top 10% for several categories, including number of residents on welfare, most amount of high school dropouts, as well as a high number of payday loans per capita.
Don’t laugh, Benton. You weren’t too far out of the top 10 yourself.
Estimated White trash: 58,534
Welfare population: 22%
Single parents: 28%
Rockford comes in at a cool second. This number doesn’t reflect the high number of mullets (is it a mullet, a perm, or merm Rockford?), shag haircuts, bangs teased out like it’s 1990, and the number of people who wear pajamas to Walmart.
Rockford’s population is as close to 100% white as you can possibly get. If you live here, and you are white, you’re most likely making wind chimes out of beer cans.
Rockford was in the top 5 for poor, uneducated white residents, and ranks high for check cashing outlets. At least the large number of cash advance companies is creating jobs in Rockford.
Estimated White trash: 27,283
High school dropouts: 17%
Single parents: 25%
Decatur is along Highway 72 (between Champaign and Springfield) in the middle of the Prairie State. This is one of the ‘most white’ cities on this list, and judging by the numbers, this place is pretty damn trashy.
Decatur ranks in the top 5 for three separate white trash metrics, including number of aggravated assaults and for poor, white single mothers on welfare.
If you live in Macon County, there’s a good chance you’re makin’ meth. Meth-related arrests are on the rise in this ‘little piece of heaven from the 217’. Huffin’ ain’t easy people. You’re a true gem, Decatur.
4. East Alton
Estimated White trash: 2,965
Payday Loan Outlets: 3
Assaults ranking: 5th in IL
Single white moms: 20%
Chances are, If you and your kid(s) have moved in with someone after two dates, than you might be from East Alton. It ranks fifth in the state for aggravated assaults (meaning drunken fist fights), and is 10th in the state for number of payday loan stores per capita. This small city in Madison County is is located along the Mississippi River, just north of St. Louis.
Sorry St. Louis, if you were trying to keep this white trash stepchild of a suburb hush-hush.
According to online forums, East Alton is a place with heroin addicts. Even the river rats are doing heroin here. White Trash river rats? That should be a reality show for sure!
5. Johnston City
Estimated White trash: 1,225
Assaults: 7th for small cities in IL
Payday Loan Outlets: 9
Johnston City. More like Johnston Shitty. Great beer, trashy folks. Nearly 1 in 5 residents is a poor single mama.
If you’re a dead-beat dad named Rick who snorts Tylenol (because he can’t afford adderall), and you moved to Carbondale with your sister’s best friend, you might be from Johnston City.
Drive down a big road in Johnston City, and it’ll be bar, church, bar, church, bar. It won’t be hard to find the trash – this place is tore up from the floor up.
Estimated White trash: 4,597.5
Welfare population: 25%
Single parents: 25%
Drug use: 3rd for cities above 10,000 residents in IL
Centralia is a little place right outside of St. Louis (Wow St. Louis, are we seeing a trend?)
Though only two-thirds of the population is white, the number of drug-related crimes and aggravated assaults, along with the high number of poor dropouts makes this white trash central for Clinton, Jefferson, Marion, and Washington Counties. Sounds like you needed a whopping four counties to handle all of your trash.
Plus, Centralia ranks first in for single white moms at a whopping 20%, and it ranks first in the state for number of thefts per capita. Nothing says white trash more than someone taking a lawnmower to buy some meth–unless you get a DUI while driving that mower.
Estimated White trash: 3,953
Drug use: 11th in IL for cities below 25,000
Payday Loan Outlets: 6
Welcome to Litchfield, IL, where the official vehicle is a rusted out 1987 Chevy Blazer. At least they have a community college here (Lincoln Land Community College), where folks can take a few classes before dropping out to take care of their kid(s).
Statistically, Litchfield ranks in the top 20 in a few categories, including number of dollar stores per capita, as well as number of poor, uneducated residents. Litchfield residents who want to move up in the world make the trek to either the big city of Springfield or St. Louis to become assistant managers at a Walmart. Just make sure you have a valid license and a working automobile before exiting– cuz ain’t nobody got time for that!
Estimated White trash: 6,675
Drug use: 18th in IL
Deadbeat dads: 7%
According to online forums, Marion is filled with slums and meth head Cardinals fans. “Let’s Go Cardinals” can be heard coming from their all-male federal penitentiary. Hey don’t shoot the messenger!
Marion ranks very high for number of check cashing/payday loan outlets, meaning they save a lot of money on meth because they don’t have to go very far to cash their paychecks every week. Way to be fiscally conservative, Marion!
Sadly, a large percentage of the Marion population’s income is based on welfare, workers comp, unemployment benefits, Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid.
Estimated White trash: 4,344
Assaults: 5th in IL
Drug use: 11th in IL
Single moms: 22%
Located just outside of Mattoon is Effingham, where a large number of people live on disability or work at one of the 20 or so Dollar Stores in town. And, shopping at the local dollar stores does not make you ‘country chic,’ Effingham, it makes you white trash.
Hey Effingham, listening to your radio in your car while it’s sitting in your front yard on cinder blocks does not count as ‘going for a cruise.’
A lot of Effingham trash must be getting into fist fights at their local dollar store when it’s 50% off day, because it’s third in Illinois for aggravated assaults.
Estimated White trash: 13,204
Welfare population: 17%
Single parents: 22%
Rounding out the list of the ten most white trash cities in Illinois brings us to Danville. Halfway between Chicago and St. Louis, this is where the high class white trash live. You think you’re ‘all that’ now that you have a Walmart AND a Meijer to wear your pajamas to.
We’re sure some of you probably wear your jammies to the Black Bear or Custard Cup, too.
Danville has the 3rd highest number of single white moms with more than one kid. More babies = more $$.
Danvillians, when are you going to stop smoking cigs with kids in your car? It’s not only hurting the environment, you have the 2nd highest dropout rate in the state. Not to mention, all that fussin’ about school uniforms is causin’ you to leave the ‘children behind.’
People in D-Vegas who say they went to DACC to get their GED? They were next door at Fair Oaks probably Getting Every Drug.
There You Have It
According to the official dictionary definition of White trash, and based on stereotypes that the internet says are true, using science to determine the most White trash cities in a state can’t be too far off.
If you’re analyzing cities in Illinois with lots of angry welfare recipients, single mothers and where people have lots of options for payday cash loans, this is an accurate list.