Do you know anyone whom you’d refer to as White trash? Most likely. Either there’s someone at your job, in your neighborhood, or in your family that you’d throw that label on.
Essentially, White trash is everywhere.
While calling someone White trash might be a mean-spirited way of ridiculing or poking fun at a particular demographic, it can also serve as a way to express disdain about the way someone lives their life. It isn’t as derogatory as using other racial slurs, and in fact, the term has a bit of humor associated with it, making it the focus of pop culture.
Take for instance Jerry Springer, Honey Boo Boo, Kid Rock, Eminem, Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite and even Cousin Eddie in National Lampoon movies.
According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, white trash is defined as:
“A term used broadly to define a person or group of persons whom embody the concepts of ignorance, racism, violence, alcoholism, poverty, and anglo-saxon ancestry. Similarly used with the term ‘cracker,’ ‘hillbilly’ or ‘redneck’.”
So, using some data crunching, we should be able to measure where the most White trash communities in the state of Louisiana are actually located.
After pouring over data, watching too many fist fights and perusing illiterate Facebook comments, we’ve determined these are the most White trash cities in Louisiana:
- Denham Springs
Time to take some meth and stay up all night with us as we go through the cities one by one. And before you say we’re some kind of reverse racist, you can also check out the most Ghetto city in Louisiana.
How we determined the most white trash cities in Louisiana?
Using publicly available government data, as well as Google Maps, we were able to collect the data on the following white trash metrics:
- Cities where there are lots of white people
- Cities where residents are poorer than average
- Cities where a high number of residents are high school dropouts
- High drug use
- Higher than average Payday Loan Outlets
- Violent cities (measured in aggravated assaults)
- Cities with a high number of residents on welfare
We used the government Census for most of the data. For drug use and violence, we used FBI data, and for Cash Advance Outlets, we used Google Maps.
We limited the analysis to non-CDPs that have over 5,000 people.
Then, we ranked each place from 1 to 22 for each of the white trash criteria.
Next, then averaged all the ranks to create a “white trash index”.
In the end, Marrero ended up being the the most white trash city in the Pelican State.
Estimated White trash: 9,768
Estimated meth heads: 3,143
Welfare population: 20%
Payday Loan Outlets: 4
Toss back a Budweiser, and suck down another Camel, Marrero, cause you’re the whitest trash of all in Louisiana.
Many of the folks in Marrero smell of cheap cigarettes; and if you grew up in Meth-ro, there’s a decent chance you are some variation of White trash.
The White Trash Capital of LA ranks in the top 10% for several categories, including the number of residents on welfare, the most amount of high school dropouts, as well as a high number of payday loans per capita.
The meth problem is so bad here that they have created a ‘Meth Watch’. The people on meth watch the people on meth because they have nothing better to do with their day.
Don’t laugh, Chalmette. You weren’t too far out of the top 10 yourself.
Estimated White trash: 2,999
Estimated meth heads: 565
Welfare population: 22%
When it comes to defining proper White trash etiquette in this town, always remember the cardinal rule: You need to be careful what you say in Eunice because someone might come over and pop the wheels on your house. Or was it, you mess with me, you mess with the whole trailer park? So confusing. That’s what happens when you try livin’ the Eunice Way: 24 beer cans, 24 hours in a day. Genius.
Eunice ranks in the top 5 for three separate white trash metrics, including a number of aggravated assaults, and for poor, white single mothers on welfare.
Estimated White trash: 25,979
Estimated meth heads: 5,213
Payday Loan Outlets: 5
Assaults ranking: 5th in LA
Alexandria comes in third followed by a smoky, meth-filled, haze. This number doesn’t reflect the high number of mullets (is it a mullet, a perm, or merm, Alexandria?), shag haircuts, bangs teased out like it’s 1990, and the number of people who wear pajamas to Walmart.
Alexandria’s population is as close to 100% white as you can possibly get. If you live here, and you are white, you’re most likely making wind chimes out of beer cans.
Here, if they don’t have ‘Mountain Dew’ Mouth (Meth Mouth) they’re not doing it right. If Alexandria’s peeps weren’t spending so much on meth, the dentists in this place would be making a fortune.
Estimated White trash: 3,283
Estimated meth heads: 946
High school dropouts: 17%
Crowley ranks in the top 5 for three separate white trash metrics, including number of aggravated assaults and for poor, white single mothers on welfare.
Here they have their own set of white trash problems. According to online forums, they truly do whatever they want in C-town. If you live here, there’s a good chance you’re makin’ meth. Meth-related arrests are on the rise in this ‘little piece of heaven’ in the 337. Huffin’ ain’t easy people.
And if you’re a dead-beat dad named Rick who snorts Tylenol (because he can’t afford adderall), and you moved to the big city of Lafayette with your sister’s best friend, you might be from Crowley.
Estimated White trash: 10,225
Estimated meth heads: 2,234
Assaults: 7th for cities in LA
Payday Loan Outlets: 3
Chances are, if you and your kid(s) moved in with someone after just two dates, than you might be from Pineville.
This city ranks fifth in the state for aggravated assaults (meaning drunken fist fights). And in pure white trash form, when it comes to fightin’ over that week’s favorite meth slut, you better believe it will be handled bare knuckle to bare knuckle in your trailer’s front yard.
In Pineville they have more pill mills than fast food restaurants. Who needs to eat when you’re poppin’ pills. Smoke the weed, townies. Get the munchies.
6. Denham Springs
Estimated White trash: 2,265.5
Estimated meth heads: 964
Welfare population: 25%
Denham Springs is also definitely one of the “whitest cities” on our list. The number of drug-related crimes and aggravated assaults, combined with the high number of poor dropouts, makes this white trash central for this part of the state.
Is that Ricky Bobby’s kid? Fair question. They have the most black and white checkered flags in ‘Louisiana-land’ with 3 tracks located close by. But, don’t get your boxers in a bunch, we know the three things you don’t mess with in white trash land: racin’, drinkin’, and makin’ meth.
And if you live in ‘The Springs’, there’s a good chance you ain’t racin’, you’re makin’ meth. Huffin’ ain’t easy people.
Word on the street, it’s the best place to get your fix in LA.
Estimated White trash: 12,675
Estimated meth heads: 2,312
Deadbeat dads: 7%
Next, is Houma. Here there a large number of people who live on disability, or work at one of the three or so Dollar Stores in the area. Just because you shop at the local dollar stores does not make you ‘country chic,’ Houma, it makes you White trash.
And a lot of your trash must be getting into fist fights at your local dollar store when it’s 50% off day, because you’re 3rd for aggravated assaults.
That’s right, in Houma, they fight over the lawn mower; they fight over what beer is better (Busch or Natural Light); they fight over who has more teeth; and of course, they fight over where the best meth is made. They just have a real chip on their shoulders.
Simmer down, H-town. #NoShoesNoShirtNoTeethNoProblem
Estimated White trash: 1,345
Estimated meth heads: 775
Assaults: 5th in LA
Drug use: 11th in LA
According to online forums, Westwego is filled with slums and meth head Saints fans. Hey don’t shoot the messenger!
You know you’re from Westwego country when you send your best friend to the liquor store and he calls 30 minutes later to tell you he’s going to be a little late cuz he got his mullet caught in the fan blade of his ‘79 Camaro.
Estimated White trash: 6,444
Estimated meth heads: 1,754
Drug use: 9th in LA
Nothin’ says white trash like a good ‘ol ass whoopin at a Walmart. You just might see that in Jennings on the first of the month every now and then.
In fact, Jennings was home to the infamous white trash Walmart fight between the woman in the jammies and the other woman in the jammies. Maybe they should fight at their local dollar store so they won’t feel like they have to dress up.
And word on the street, they are down with O.P.P. (other people’s pills). They are 11th in the state for drug use.
Hey Jennings, stay classy and keep it White trashy. Otherwise we won’t have anything to write about.
Estimated White trash: 6,444
Estimated meth heads: 1,754
Drug use: 9th in LA
Rounding out the list of the ten most White trash cities in Louisiana brings us to Sulphur. This is where the high class white trash live. You think you’re ‘all that’ with two Dollar Stores and a Walmart to wear your pajamas, swimsuits, and wife beaters to.
Sulphur has a high number of single white moms with more than one kid. More babies = more $$. It’s all fun and games until somebody gets PG.
White trash is a lifestyle, here. It’s not everyday that you become the home of the ‘Meth-Sandwich’ and ‘Black Tar Heroin.’
There You Have It
According to the official dictionary definition of White trash, and based on stereotypes that the internet says are true, using science to determine the most White trash cities in a state can’t be too far off.
If you’re analyzing cities in Louisiana with lots of angry welfare recipients, single mothers and where people have lots of options for payday cash loans, this is an accurate list.
If you’re curious enough, here are the least white trash places in Louisiana:
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