These Are The 10 Most Boring Cities In Alabama


We used data and science to identify which places in Alabama are total snoozefests.

Nick James, RoadSnacks
January 18, 2016 - 87,013 views
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This article is an opinion based on facts and is meant as infotainment. Don’t freak out.

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There’s no denying it: there are plenty of places in Alabama that are downright beautiful and full of excitement.

Unfortunately, not all towns and cities in AL are so lucky.

Just like in all U.S. States, there are definitely some boring places within Alabama’s borders. You know the places: the ones where everyone has an AARP card and the most exciting thing they do all day is post a picture of their grandchild on Facebook.

Like Orange Beach, for instance. In our latest analysis, we found that this city was the most boring city in all of Alabama. But don’t feel bad if you’re a resident of Orange Beach. There are plenty of other boring, lackluster places in Alabama as well.

Here they are. Try not to jump out of your seat with excitement:

  1. Orange Beach
  2. Scottsboro
  3. Opp
  4. Rainbow City
  5. Glencoe
  6. Trussville
  7. Pike Road
  8. Gardendale
  9. Guntersville
  10. Fairhope

Before you get all upset if your city’s name is on the list, rest assured that we didn’t use personal opinion when it comes to what classifies a city or town as “boring” or “exciting”. We crunched actual numbers to figure out which towns are statistically more boring.

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How we determined the boring cities in the Heart Of Dixie

To figure out how boring a place is, we rely on a complex algorithm that factors in things we generally think make people exciting, and then we figure out which cities have the least number of those exciting people. Here are some of the things people tend to think of as making a city’s population boring:

  • % of Population Over 35 (higher is more boring)
  • % of Married Household (higher is more boring)
  • Average Age (higher is more boring)
  • % of Households With Kids (higher is more boring)
  • % of Households with People Over 65 (higher is more boring)
  • Population density (lower is more boring)

Then, our algorithm generates several lists of the cities that have plenty of residents with high rankings in all of these categories. After a crunching of the numbers, a list of all of the cities magically appears listing them from most boring to most exciting.

For this list, we used every Alabama city that qualified for our rankings based on having a population of at least 5,000 residents. This keeps us from prejudicing our rankings by including very small pockets of retired people.

Grab your rocker and hold on.

1. Orange Beach

Boring Alabama

Source: wikipedia

Population: 5,528
Average Age: 48.4
Married Households: 69.5%
Households With Kids: 25.6%

Sure, it’s a beach town, but this city near Gulf Shores is downright snoozeville when you look at who is living there. Orange Beach has the lowest number of residents under the age of 35, and the 3rd highest number of married couples (nearly 70%). So, it sounds like there are a lot of people reading Danielle Steele novels with their feet in the water in these parts.

2. Scottsboro

Boring Alabama

Source: wikipedia

Population: 14,825
Average Age: 43.2
Married Households: 53.8%
Households With Kids: 29.2%

This city east of Huntsville is the 19th oldest in the state, where folks are about 43 years old. That doesn’t sound too old, does it? Well, 45% of the people here are older than 65, and 54% have kids.

3. Opp

Boring Alabama

Source: Public Domain

Population: 6,682
Average Age: 41.6
Married Households: 49.1%
Households With Kids: 32.3%

Not only is this Covington County city in the middle of nowhere, the average age is 41, and 45% are older than 65. At least the number of married households is somewhere near the state average, meaning you might find someone who is a late bloomer to take out on a date.

4. Rainbow City

Boring Alabama

Source: Public Domain

Population: 9,612
Average Age: 40.0
Married Households: 57.5%
Households With Kids: 31.0%

Rainbow City is a Gadsden suburb where 44% of residents are in their senior years. 30% have kids, and 58% are married.

5. Glencoe

Boring Alabama

Source: Public Domain

Population: 5,139
Average Age: 45.3
Married Households: 52.5%
Households With Kids: 24.3%

Glencoe isn’t too far away from Rainbow City. Maybe the older people from both cities like to get together and mix it up a bit. Bingo anyone?

6. Trussville

Boring Alabama

Source: Public Domain

Population: 19,936
Average Age: 41.8
Married Households: 65.9%
Households With Kids: 39.4%

If you live in Trussville, you’d have to head into nearby Birmingham if you wanted a lively group of people to hang out with. 65% are already married here, which is the 6th highest rate in in the state, and double the state average. However, ‘only’ 35% of the population is over 65.

7. Pike Road

Boring Alabama

Source: wikipedia

Population: 6,067
Average Age: 38.5
Married Households: 67.0%
Households With Kids: 39.1%

This Montgomery suburb has the 5th highest number of married couples in the state of Alabama at 67%. It’s pretty common knowledge that families are a lot less exciting than young, singles. Plus, there’s not a lot to do way out here in the sticks.

8. Gardendale

Boring Alabama

Source: wikipedia

Population: 13,779
Average Age: 44.1
Married Households: 60.3%
Households With Kids: 29.9%

The average age of people living in this Jefferson County city outside of Birmingham is 44, which is the 14th highest in the state. 4 in 10 people are seniors, and only 40% are under 35.

9. Guntersville

Boring Alabama

Source: wikipedia

Population: 8,256
Average Age: 43.2
Married Households: 47.4%
Households With Kids: 27.9%

Guntersville is right along the Tennessee River, but if you’re not into fishing, you’d better find another place for fun. More than 40% of the population is considered elderly, and most people are over 45.

10. Fairhope

Boring Alabama

Source: wikipedia

Population: 16,100
Average Age: 45.5
Married Households: 58.5%
Households With Kids: 28.3%

This suburb of Mobile is the 9th oldest place in the state. Nearly half of the community are grandfathers and grandmothers.

Now, that’s a real snoozefest.

Now That You’re Asleep

On a list like this, there are usually no winners, but since Alabama isn’t necessarily the most boring state in the United States, the cities on this list can at least take solace that there are, in fact, more boring cities in the country.

Just not these cities.

Where are the most exciting places in Alabama? They are the usual suspects: Auburn, Tuscaloosa, Jacksonville, Troy and Montevallo.

If you’re still not asleep, you’ll love a hilarious commercial from the Alabama Tourism Board. Click here to watch it.

Detailed List Of Boring Cities In Alabama

City Rank Population Average Age Married Households Households With Kids
Orange Beach 1 5,528 48.4 69.5% 25.6%
Scottsboro 2 14,825 43.2 53.8% 29.2%
Opp 3 6,682 41.6 49.1% 32.3%
Rainbow City 4 9,612 40.0 57.5% 31.0%
Glencoe 5 5,139 45.3 52.5% 24.3%
Trussville 6 19,936 41.8 65.9% 39.4%
Pike Road 7 6,067 38.5 67.0% 39.1%
Gardendale 8 13,779 44.1 60.3% 29.9%
Guntersville 9 8,256 43.2 47.4% 27.9%
Fairhope 10 16,100 45.5 58.5% 28.3%
Moody 11 11,976 39.4 59.5% 29.9%
Lincoln 12 6,269 41.9 52.7% 32.2%
Saraland 13 13,582 40.6 54.0% 31.5%
Arab 14 8,204 41.4 49.6% 34.6%
Fort Payne 15 14,108 37.5 56.4% 34.9%
Southside 16 8,365 40.3 62.9% 36.2%
Pell City 17 12,940 37.2 49.0% 41.1%
Eufaula 18 13,038 37.6 45.5% 37.0%
Pleasant Grove 19 10,193 43.6 51.8% 36.2%
Jasper 20 14,295 40.5 48.1% 33.5%
Sylacauga 21 12,775 41.8 43.5% 33.9%
Satsuma 22 6,139 41.3 64.2% 33.9%
Roanoke 23 6,078 36.6 48.5% 37.8%
Brewton 24 5,423 41.5 40.5% 34.0%
Andalusia 25 9,051 41.2 38.9% 31.7%
Spanish Fort 26 7,145 41.0 58.8% 28.7%
Mountain Brook 27 20,416 40.1 69.2% 40.9%
Ozark 28 14,879 42.2 46.7% 28.2%
Oneonta 29 6,614 35.6 50.9% 37.9%
Childersburg 30 5,153 37.1 48.3% 37.3%
Hamilton 31 6,858 34.7 51.7% 36.5%
Gulf Shores 32 10,222 41.0 60.7% 27.7%
Hartselle 33 14,361 37.5 60.7% 39.6%
Clay 34 9,699 43.6 61.7% 28.4%
Alexander City 35 14,864 36.9 47.3% 37.6%
Leeds 36 12,269 37.8 55.8% 34.4%
Vestavia Hills 37 33,993 40.6 59.1% 33.6%
Clanton 38 8,674 38.7 45.8% 32.8%
Monroeville 39 6,416 39.3 36.1% 35.6%
Muscle Shoals 40 13,286 42.0 56.2% 32.0%
Tuscumbia 41 8,549 43.3 45.5% 27.6%
Foley 42 15,019 41.8 50.7% 23.6%
Atmore 43 10,139 40.1 35.0% 35.6%
Oxford 44 21,287 39.3 54.1% 35.5%
Hueytown 45 16,005 40.4 48.6% 32.0%
Pinson 46 7,145 40.4 52.1% 31.0%
Smiths Station 47 5,035 35.9 53.6% 39.6%
Wetumpka 48 6,924 40.5 44.1% 34.8%
Cullman 49 14,863 39.6 48.9% 29.9%
Attalla 50 6,031 39.4 48.9% 27.2%
Irondale 51 12,342 43.1 44.5% 23.4%
Greenville 52 8,003 38.2 36.4% 31.8%
Chelsea 53 10,612 33.8 69.5% 44.0%
Daphne 54 22,396 39.8 54.1% 30.7%
Demopolis 55 7,366 34.7 44.0% 40.5%
Athens 56 22,789 36.9 49.0% 33.2%
Anniston 57 22,947 41.2 35.1% 23.2%
Pelham 58 21,701 37.8 54.4% 31.1%
Valley 59 9,469 39.7 45.8% 31.7%
Boaz 60 9,661 35.4 44.7% 39.1%
Russellville 61 9,814 36.4 46.6% 34.3%
Helena 62 16,956 33.4 65.7% 48.7%
Alabaster 63 30,719 36.2 56.9% 41.6%
Bessemer 64 27,336 40.9 34.1% 30.2%
Madison 65 44,044 37.2 57.3% 38.6%
Millbrook 66 14,714 36.7 55.8% 39.3%
Albertville 67 21,281 32.8 49.7% 39.7%
Hoover 68 82,264 36.7 59.0% 35.6%
Calera 69 12,054 31.7 58.2% 39.3%
Dothan 70 66,972 37.9 47.1% 32.0%
Fultondale 71 8,477 39.6 48.2% 22.8%
Jackson 72 5,178 36.7 44.5% 25.1%
Opelika 73 27,381 37.6 44.6% 29.9%
Gadsden 74 36,794 38.4 38.4% 30.1%
Talladega 75 15,966 37.4 35.9% 34.6%
Bay Minette 76 8,495 35.1 37.5% 34.0%
Enterprise 77 27,092 34.6 48.9% 38.8%
Prattville 78 33,983 35.9 51.5% 36.1%
Robertsdale 79 5,431 33.9 52.0% 39.3%
Lanett 80 6,470 36.7 32.8% 30.2%
Prichard 81 22,596 38.1 26.9% 31.9%
Decatur 82 55,776 37.3 46.2% 29.1%
Daleville 83 5,244 34.6 47.3% 31.8%
Tarrant 84 6,374 40.4 23.0% 23.6%
Sheffield 85 9,046 36.3 38.9% 28.4%
Florence 86 39,530 37.7 43.2% 25.3%
Midfield 87 5,337 33.1 38.6% 44.2%
Fairfield 88 11,071 33.6 24.6% 31.0%
Selma 89 20,391 35.3 26.4% 30.8%
Chickasaw 90 6,073 32.7 35.7% 38.1%
Huntsville 91 182,317 36.7 42.9% 27.1%
Center Point 92 16,927 33.6 42.3% 37.7%
Northport 93 23,780 33.4 46.0% 32.1%
Phenix City 94 34,737 32.2 38.8% 38.1%
Mobile 95 195,116 35.5 37.5% 30.7%
Montgomery 96 204,760 34.2 38.1% 34.1%
Tuskegee 97 9,556 27.8 21.1% 29.1%
Homewood 98 25,288 29.3 43.7% 32.5%
Birmingham 99 212,295 35.9 28.7% 26.4%
Montevallo 100 6,420 27.8 36.3% 25.8%
Troy 101 18,289 25.3 35.2% 23.6%
Jacksonville 102 12,475 25.3 33.8% 27.2%
Tuscaloosa 103 92,461 27.6 32.7% 28.0%
Auburn 104 55,404 23.3 33.4% 24.2%
 Boring 

7 thoughts on “These Are The 10 Most Boring Cities In Alabama”

  1. Did you attend the Chris Chase School of Online Journalism? Seriously, the level of “boring” is not something you can tangibly measure; “boring” is an abstract, subjective feeling. If I find random crappy pictures on Google Maps, write groan-worthy jokes about senior citizens, and put a table with big numbers in my article, can I work for RoadSnacks, too? Remember, kids, “infotainment” is supposed to be “informational entertainment”, not half-baked blogs from Travel Magazine rejects.

    Reply

  2. I bet you have never even been to Alabama huh Nick James? You sound like your typical California commie pinko fag…I’m guessing the only way you got your job is by blowing the right people any reputable publication wouldn’t hire you

    Reply

    1. Sounds like YOU’RE A Reich Wing snot-dripping, mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging closet case f-g yourself, Bubba Joe. The worse kind of f-g! So why don’t you find your tooth, your 20 kids from 17 different mothers, and go feck yourself, bi*ch!!!

      Reply

  3. You have automatically decided that over 35, married and having children are boring and you don’t want to many of “those” kinds of people. Wow . No data on things to do, recreation, dining, arts, museum, festivals, educational opportunities, or cost of living. The fact that many of these towns have an older population would indicate that there are people with vast life experience , and wisdom. Yet perhaps your correct on labeling it boring to dissuade the younger generations, because I personally know that Orange Beach and Fairhope do not cater to the entitled “selfie” millenial age. We expect and delight in those who appreciate natural beauty, cultural arts, adrenaline sports and adventures, volunterism, ecological responsibility and community. So thank you for encouraging those who are seeking an” all about me” , continual narrccistic entertainment experience to avoid our area. The beaches will stay cleaner, the community will will benefit from contributing visitors, and the hope for our future remain steadfast.

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  5. How can Orange Beach be the most boring city in Alabama? Next to Gulf Shores, it has the most BEAUTIFUL BEACHES on the Gulf Coast and THOUSANDS of people flock here every summer just to “Vacation at the Gulf of Mexico”. They spend THOUSANDS of dollars renting condos, etc…..and there are tons of things to do in Orange Beach. U have the beach, fishing, boating, some of the best seafood restaurants, and tons of entertainment. You are way off base here….because tourists would not spend THOUSANDS of dollars to come here every year if this was the most boring city in Alabama!! EPIC FAIL!!

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