There’s no denying it: there are plenty of places in Alabama that are downright beautiful and full of excitement.
Unfortunately, not all towns and cities in AL are so lucky.
Just like in all U.S. States, there are definitely some boring places within Alabama’s borders. You know the places: the ones where everyone has an AARP card and the most exciting thing they do all day is post a picture of their grandchild on Facebook.
Like Orange Beach, for instance. In our latest analysis, we found that this city was the most boring city in all of Alabama. But don’t feel bad if you’re a resident of Orange Beach. There are plenty of other boring, lackluster places in Alabama as well.
Here they are. Try not to jump out of your seat with excitement:
- Orange Beach
- Scottsboro
- Opp
- Rainbow City
- Glencoe
- Trussville
- Pike Road
- Gardendale
- Guntersville
- Fairhope
Before you get all upset if your city’s name is on the list, rest assured that we didn’t use personal opinion when it comes to what classifies a city or town as “boring” or “exciting”. We crunched actual numbers to figure out which towns are statistically more boring.
How we determined the boring cities in the Heart Of Dixie
To figure out how boring a place is, we rely on a complex algorithm that factors in things we generally think make people exciting, and then we figure out which cities have the least number of those exciting people. Here are some of the things people tend to think of as making a city’s population boring:
- % of Population Over 35 (higher is more boring)
- % of Married Household (higher is more boring)
- Average Age (higher is more boring)
- % of Households With Kids (higher is more boring)
- % of Households with People Over 65 (higher is more boring)
- Population density (lower is more boring)
Then, our algorithm generates several lists of the cities that have plenty of residents with high rankings in all of these categories. After a crunching of the numbers, a list of all of the cities magically appears listing them from most boring to most exciting.
For this list, we used every Alabama city that qualified for our rankings based on having a population of at least 5,000 residents. This keeps us from prejudicing our rankings by including very small pockets of retired people.
Grab your rocker and hold on.
1. Orange Beach
Population: 5,528
Average Age: 48.4
Married Households: 69.5%
Households With Kids: 25.6%
Sure, it’s a beach town, but this city near Gulf Shores is downright snoozeville when you look at who is living there. Orange Beach has the lowest number of residents under the age of 35, and the 3rd highest number of married couples (nearly 70%). So, it sounds like there are a lot of people reading Danielle Steele novels with their feet in the water in these parts.
2. Scottsboro
Population: 14,825
Average Age: 43.2
Married Households: 53.8%
Households With Kids: 29.2%
This city east of Huntsville is the 19th oldest in the state, where folks are about 43 years old. That doesn’t sound too old, does it? Well, 45% of the people here are older than 65, and 54% have kids.
3. Opp
Population: 6,682
Average Age: 41.6
Married Households: 49.1%
Households With Kids: 32.3%
Not only is this Covington County city in the middle of nowhere, the average age is 41, and 45% are older than 65. At least the number of married households is somewhere near the state average, meaning you might find someone who is a late bloomer to take out on a date.
4. Rainbow City
Population: 9,612
Average Age: 40.0
Married Households: 57.5%
Households With Kids: 31.0%
Rainbow City is a Gadsden suburb where 44% of residents are in their senior years. 30% have kids, and 58% are married.
5. Glencoe
Population: 5,139
Average Age: 45.3
Married Households: 52.5%
Households With Kids: 24.3%
Glencoe isn’t too far away from Rainbow City. Maybe the older people from both cities like to get together and mix it up a bit. Bingo anyone?
6. Trussville
Population: 19,936
Average Age: 41.8
Married Households: 65.9%
Households With Kids: 39.4%
If you live in Trussville, you’d have to head into nearby Birmingham if you wanted a lively group of people to hang out with. 65% are already married here, which is the 6th highest rate in in the state, and double the state average. However, ‘only’ 35% of the population is over 65.
7. Pike Road
Population: 6,067
Average Age: 38.5
Married Households: 67.0%
Households With Kids: 39.1%
This Montgomery suburb has the 5th highest number of married couples in the state of Alabama at 67%. It’s pretty common knowledge that families are a lot less exciting than young, singles. Plus, there’s not a lot to do way out here in the sticks.
8. Gardendale
Population: 13,779
Average Age: 44.1
Married Households: 60.3%
Households With Kids: 29.9%
The average age of people living in this Jefferson County city outside of Birmingham is 44, which is the 14th highest in the state. 4 in 10 people are seniors, and only 40% are under 35.
9. Guntersville
Population: 8,256
Average Age: 43.2
Married Households: 47.4%
Households With Kids: 27.9%
Guntersville is right along the Tennessee River, but if you’re not into fishing, you’d better find another place for fun. More than 40% of the population is considered elderly, and most people are over 45.
10. Fairhope
Population: 16,100
Average Age: 45.5
Married Households: 58.5%
Households With Kids: 28.3%
This suburb of Mobile is the 9th oldest place in the state. Nearly half of the community are grandfathers and grandmothers.
Now, that’s a real snoozefest.
Now That You’re Asleep
On a list like this, there are usually no winners, but since Alabama isn’t necessarily the most boring state in the United States, the cities on this list can at least take solace that there are, in fact, more boring cities in the country.
Just not these cities.
Where are the most exciting places in Alabama? They are the usual suspects: Auburn, Tuscaloosa, Jacksonville, Troy and Montevallo.
If you’re still not asleep, you’ll love a hilarious commercial from the Alabama Tourism Board. Click here to watch it.
Detailed List Of Boring Cities In Alabama
City | Rank |
---|---|
Orange Beach | 1 |
Scottsboro | 2 |
Opp | 3 |
Rainbow City | 4 |
Glencoe | 5 |
Trussville | 6 |
Pike Road | 7 |
Gardendale | 8 |
Guntersville | 9 |
Fairhope | 10 |
Moody | 11 |
Lincoln | 12 |
Saraland | 13 |
Arab | 14 |
Fort Payne | 15 |
Southside | 16 |
Pell City | 17 |
Eufaula | 18 |
Pleasant Grove | 19 |
Jasper | 20 |
Sylacauga | 21 |
Satsuma | 22 |
Roanoke | 23 |
Brewton | 24 |
Andalusia | 25 |
Spanish Fort | 26 |
Mountain Brook | 27 |
Ozark | 28 |
Oneonta | 29 |
Childersburg | 30 |
Hamilton | 31 |
Gulf Shores | 32 |
Hartselle | 33 |
Clay | 34 |
Alexander City | 35 |
Leeds | 36 |
Vestavia Hills | 37 |
Clanton | 38 |
Monroeville | 39 |
Muscle Shoals | 40 |
Tuscumbia | 41 |
Foley | 42 |
Atmore | 43 |
Oxford | 44 |
Hueytown | 45 |
Pinson | 46 |
Smiths Station | 47 |
Wetumpka | 48 |
Cullman | 49 |
Attalla | 50 |
Irondale | 51 |
Greenville | 52 |
Chelsea | 53 |
Daphne | 54 |
Demopolis | 55 |
Athens | 56 |
Anniston | 57 |
Pelham | 58 |
Valley | 59 |
Boaz | 60 |
Russellville | 61 |
Helena | 62 |
Alabaster | 63 |
Bessemer | 64 |
Madison | 65 |
Millbrook | 66 |
Albertville | 67 |
Hoover | 68 |
Calera | 69 |
Dothan | 70 |
Fultondale | 71 |
Jackson | 72 |
Opelika | 73 |
Gadsden | 74 |
Talladega | 75 |
Bay Minette | 76 |
Enterprise | 77 |
Prattville | 78 |
Robertsdale | 79 |
Lanett | 80 |
Prichard | 81 |
Decatur | 82 |
Daleville | 83 |
Tarrant | 84 |
Sheffield | 85 |
Florence | 86 |
Midfield | 87 |
Fairfield | 88 |
Selma | 89 |
Chickasaw | 90 |
Huntsville | 91 |
Center Point | 92 |
Northport | 93 |
Phenix City | 94 |
Mobile | 95 |
Montgomery | 96 |
Tuskegee | 97 |
Homewood | 98 |
Birmingham | 99 |
Montevallo | 100 |
Troy | 101 |
Jacksonville | 102 |
Tuscaloosa | 103 |
Auburn | 104 |
Did you attend the Chris Chase School of Online Journalism? Seriously, the level of “boring” is not something you can tangibly measure; “boring” is an abstract, subjective feeling. If I find random crappy pictures on Google Maps, write groan-worthy jokes about senior citizens, and put a table with big numbers in my article, can I work for RoadSnacks, too? Remember, kids, “infotainment” is supposed to be “informational entertainment”, not half-baked blogs from Travel Magazine rejects.
I bet you have never even been to Alabama huh Nick James? You sound like your typical California commie pinko fag…I’m guessing the only way you got your job is by blowing the right people any reputable publication wouldn’t hire you
Sounds like YOU’RE A Reich Wing snot-dripping, mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging closet case f-g yourself, Bubba Joe. The worse kind of f-g! So why don’t you find your tooth, your 20 kids from 17 different mothers, and go feck yourself, bi*ch!!!
You have automatically decided that over 35, married and having children are boring and you don’t want to many of “those” kinds of people. Wow . No data on things to do, recreation, dining, arts, museum, festivals, educational opportunities, or cost of living. The fact that many of these towns have an older population would indicate that there are people with vast life experience , and wisdom. Yet perhaps your correct on labeling it boring to dissuade the younger generations, because I personally know that Orange Beach and Fairhope do not cater to the entitled “selfie” millenial age. We expect and delight in those who appreciate natural beauty, cultural arts, adrenaline sports and adventures, volunterism, ecological responsibility and community. So thank you for encouraging those who are seeking an” all about me” , continual narrccistic entertainment experience to avoid our area. The beaches will stay cleaner, the community will will benefit from contributing visitors, and the hope for our future remain steadfast.
You should consider moving Oneonta into the top 10.
How can Orange Beach be the most boring city in Alabama? Next to Gulf Shores, it has the most BEAUTIFUL BEACHES on the Gulf Coast and THOUSANDS of people flock here every summer just to “Vacation at the Gulf of Mexico”. They spend THOUSANDS of dollars renting condos, etc…..and there are tons of things to do in Orange Beach. U have the beach, fishing, boating, some of the best seafood restaurants, and tons of entertainment. You are way off base here….because tourists would not spend THOUSANDS of dollars to come here every year if this was the most boring city in Alabama!! EPIC FAIL!!
And neither Fairhope nor Daphne are suburbs of Mobile.