Do you know anyone whom you’d refer to as White trash? Most likely. Either there’s someone at your job, in your neighborhood, or in your family that you’d throw that label on.
Essentially, White trash is everywhere.
While calling someone White trash might be a mean-spirited way of ridiculing or poking fun at a particular demographic, it can also serve as a way to express disdain about the way someone lives their life. It isn’t as derogatory as using other racial slurs, and in fact, the term has a bit of humor associated with it, making it the focus of pop culture.
Take for instance Jerry Springer, Honey Boo Boo, Kid Rock, Eminem, Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite and even Cousin Eddie in National Lampoon movies.
According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, white trash is defined as:
“A term used broadly to define a person or group of persons whom embody the concepts of ignorance, racism, violence, alcoholism, poverty, and anglo-saxon ancestry. Similarly used with the term ‘cracker,’ ‘hillbilly’ or ‘redneck’.”
So, using some data crunching, we should be able to measure where the most White trash communities in the state of Colorado are actually located.
After pouring over data, watching too many fist fights and perusing illiterate Facebook comments, we’ve determined these are the most White trash cities in Colorado:
- Wheat Ridge
- Grand Junction
- Canon City
- Glenwood Springs
Time to take some meth and stay up all night with us as we go through the cities one by one.
How we determined the most white trash cities in Colorado?
Using publicly available government data, as well as Google Maps, we were able to collect the data on the following white trash metrics:
- Cities where there are lots of white people
- Cities where residents are poorer than average
- Cities where a high number of residents are high school dropouts
- High drug use
- Higher than average Payday Loan Outlets and bargain stores
- Violent cities (measured in aggravated assaults)
- Cities with a high number of residents on welfare
We used the government Census for most of the data. For drug use and violence, we used FBI data, and for Cash Advance Outlets, we used Google Maps.
We limited the analysis to non-CDPs that have over 5,000 people.
Then, we ranked each place from 1 to 59 for each of the white trash criteria.
Next, then averaged all the ranks to create a “white trash index”.
In the end, Gunnison ended up being the the most white trash city in the Centennial State.
Estimated White trash: 1,204
Welfare population: 17%
Toss back a PBR, and suck down another Camel, Gunnison, cause you’re the whitest trash of all in Colorado. This city ranks in the top 10% for several categories, including number of residents on welfare, most amount of high school dropouts, as well as a high number of aggravated assaults.
Don’t laugh Colorado Springs, at least they don’t have a serial “Pooper”.
2. Wheat Ridge
Estimated White trash: 7,674
According to online forums, Wheat Ridge is known as Colorado’s trailer park. If you’re from this city in Jefferson County, there is a good chance you know someone who did not graduate from high school. And, if you’re a dead-beat dad named Rick who snorts Tylenol (because he can’t afford adderall), and you moved to Centennial with your sister’s best friend, you might be from Wheat Ridge.
Estimated White trash: 19,674
Dollar Stores: 18
Located where the dirt roads meet the concrete at the Arkansas River is Pueblo, Colorado. Here a large number of people live on disability or work at one of the multiple bargain stores in town. Just because you shop at the local dollar stores does not make you ‘country chic,’ Pueblo, it makes you white trash.
Estimated White trash: 5,283
Thefts per capita: 5th
Sterling, Colorado is situated up in ‘the holler’ northeast of Denver. ‘Colorado’s Treasure,’ is one of the ‘most white’ cities on this list; and judging by the numbers, this place is pretty damn trashy.
This city in Logan County ranks in the top 5 for three separate white trash metrics, including number of aggravated assaults and for a large percentage of high school dropouts.
Estimated White trash: 1,999
Welfare population: 18%
Lamar, Colorado is located in the southeastern corner of the state. Though only two-thirds of the population is white, the number of drug-related crimes and aggravated assaults, combined with the high number of welfare recipients and high school dropouts, makes this white trash central for Prowers County.
6. Grand Junction
Estimated White trash: 9,993
Payday Loan Outlets: 6
Chances are, if you and your kids have moved in with someone after just two dates, than you might be from Grand Junction, Colorado. A lot of your trash must be getting into fist fights at your local dollar store when it’s 50% off day, because you are fifth for aggravated assaults (meaning drunken fist fights), and 8th in the state for number of payday loan outlets per capita.
7. Canon City
Estimated White trash: 2,439
High school dropouts: 15%
Statistically, Canon City ranks in the top 20 in a few categories, including number of bargain stores per capita, as well as number of poor, uneducated residents. Fremont County residents who want to move up in the world make the trek to the big city of Salida to become assistant managers at a Walmart.
Just make sure you have a valid license and a working automobile before exiting– cuz ain’t nobody got time for that!
8. Glenwood Springs
Estimated White trash: 2,439
Welfare population: 15%
Well break out the moonshine and rustle up some possum, Glenwood Springs, because your population is as close to 100% white as you can possibly get. This city in Garfield County was in the top 5 for poor, uneducated white residents, and ranks high for payday loan outlets per capita.
With the large number of loan outlets, Glenwood Springs, you don’t have to travel far to cash your welfare check.
Estimated White trash: 23,674
High school dropouts: 17%
Sadly, a large percentage of Greeley’s population’s income is based on welfare, workers comp, unemployment benefits, Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid. This city in Weld County ranks very high for number of check cashing outlets and bargain stores per capita.
The culture here is as if Tonya Harding and Eminem got together and had a baby.
Estimated White trash: 4,439
Rounding out the list of the ten most white trash cities in Colorado brings us to Montrose. Located on the western side of Colorado, this is where the high class white trash live. You think you’re all that in ‘The Trose,’ with your multiple bargain stores and a Super Walmart where you can show off your pajamas and wife beaters.
There You Have It
According to the official dictionary definition of White trash, and based on stereotypes that the internet says are true, using science to determine the most White trash cities in a state can’t be too far off.
If you’re analyzing cities in Colorado with lots of angry welfare recipients, single mothers and where people have lots of options for payday cash loans, this is an accurate list.
If you’re curious enough, here are the least white trash places in Colorado:
- Cherry Hills Village
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